risingpheenix (risingpheenix) wrote in florida_mommies,

Research Help from My Fellow Florida Neighbors

I'm going to attempt to write a novel for the annual NaNoWriMo (http://www.nanowrimo.org/). Instead of going flash into this totally unprepared as I did last year (and wrote nary a word) I'm actually preparing this time around.

My story is could be considered chick-lit. It's a silly term and brings to mine silly women doing silly things and going crazy after men and whining about their bodies. While all that may be true I personally find a sisterhood with the Bridget Jones' of the literary world. I may not have shown my thong clad bum to the United Kingdom at large but I have shown the general public that I can be an ass, who hasn't. And who hasn't fallen for the wrong man, or worried about whether or not they should have a child, or if they are following their heart. My goal is to write from my heart, honestly, and from the stories of other women.

This is where you come in. I need some guinea pigs. I have a series of questions that I would like my female friends and LJ neighbors to answer as honestly as you can. You do not have to answer any questions you do not feel comfortable answering. If you are reading this post in one of the communities I've posted this in you can email me your answers to winninfelix@gmail.com (winni n felix @ g mail . com) if you don't feel comfortable posting a reply. Not all communties allow anonymous posting or allow posters to screen comments so I think emailing me is going to be the best way.

The questions are pretty personal, so please just answer what you want to answer, don't feel any pressure to bare your soul to me just because I asked. And also, please know that I am going to do my best to have no judgement over you - whatever you tell me will not be mentioned again unless you bring it up to me directly. Even if you post it in your journal I will pip up and say, "Hey this is that thing you told me about that one time."

I really only need women to answer these questions, specifically women between the ages of 27 and 35, and women between the ages of 55-65. Originally I was only asking these questions with straight women in mind, but then I started to think that was too narrowminded - not just that I needed to be diverse but because I wasn't thinking of anyone else except a married, straight white girl.

So I really need women. A host of women of all cultural backgrounds - race, religious choices, beliefs, sexuality - to answer my questions.

When I get your answers I will not be using your individual stories to build my novel but bits and pieces of you to form the characters. As I put this together I'll post updates and a link to the story so you can read it. I will be looking for someone who is good with grammar to help me out as I really, really stink at grammar. I don't totally want to embarrass myself.

Without further ado click the cut for the questions. Please take the time to read them and answer as honestly as you can.

1) Are you married?
a) How long?
b) How long did you date before getting married?
c) Were you a virgin before you were married or did you have sex with your husband before you were married? (If you were a virgin please skip question d.)
d) If so, did you have more sex before you were married? Do you have more sex now that you are married? Or has sex stayed the same?
e) If you did not have sex before you were married why?
f) What "base" did you get to with your husband before you were married?
g) Was he a virgin?
h) How did he feel about waiting?
i) Is your husband the man of your dreams? How similar or different is he from your fantasy boy?
j) Is your family accepting of your husband?
k) Is your husband your mirror image or do you balance each other out?

2) If you are a lesbian, are you in a committed relationship with someone?
a) How old were you when you realized you were not heterosexual?
b) Were you ever attracked to boys/men?
c) How many women have you dated/been in a relationship with?
d) Is your family accepting of your girlfriend?
e) Is your girlfriend the woman of your dreams? How similar or different is she from your fantasy girl?
f) Is your gilfriend your mirror image or do you balance each other out?

3) Do you have children? (If no children please skip to question 4.)
a) How many? Did you want a small family or a large family? Are any of your children adopted?
b) What ages did you have your children?
c) Were you married?
d) What year of marraige did you have your child(ren)?
e) If you were not married did you get married after you found out you were pregnant or after the baby was born? Or did you opt to not marry at all?
f) Did you feel pressure to have children?
g) If so, who pressured you: Family - yours, in-laws - friends, church, cultural demands and expectations?
h) Would you be willing to use a surrogate or using another woman's eggs to have a child?

4)Answer the following questions only if you do not have children.
a) Do you want children? Please explain.
b) Would you like to have a big family or a small family?
c) Do you feel pressure to have children? Who pressures you: Family - yours, in-laws - friends, church, cultural demands and expectations?
d) If you are not planning on having any children would you be willing to donate your eggs so that women who cannot conceive using their own eggs can conceive using yours?

5) Are you in school?
a) I am assuming that if you are answering these questions you are between the ages of 27 and 35 or 55 and 65. Please explain why you are in school and what you are studying as you are not the common age of college student.

6) Are you working?
a) What do you do?
b) Is it what you wanted to be when you grew up? What did you want to be when you grew up? (List as many things as you want.)What would you like to be as an adult?
c) What you wanted to be as a child and what you want to be as an adult are two different things. Is your current job what you would like to be doing?
d) What makes your job satisfying or unsatifying?
e) If you could make changes to your job do you think you would find more satisfaction from it?

6) Sacrifices:
a) Have you had to sacrifice career/education for your family? How has this made you feel?
b) How was it decided that you would be the one to put your education on hold and not your husband or partner?
c) If you have stopped school or not continued to pursue a particular career, have you been able to pick it up again?
d) How supportive is your family? If places were switched do you think your significant other would be able to fill your shoes?
e) What satisfaction, what good things have your gleamed during your hiatus from education/career that has made it all worth while? (That is if you feel this way. If you do not, please explain.)

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my questions!
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